My quote for today:
"True freedom comes from absolute surrender."
* This may sound ironic, but it is true in my life. And that doesn't mean I've arrived, it means I'm recognizing the process and attempting to focus on it as much as possible:)
Friday, November 13, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Update
Well, it's been four weeks today since I started not feeling well. Thankfully I haven't gotten worse; but I'm also not feeling much better. I'm currently awaiting more tests; as set of tests this week have shown two suspicious spots, one on each ovary, that are being watched. In about a month we will know if these "spots" are growing or changing and if they are we will "cross that bridge" when we get to it. My symptoms are suspicious of cysts so we are hoping that is what they are. In the meantime we just wait.
I'm not well enough to work, but thankfully I am able to manage most daily activities; just not to many in one day. I sleep a lot and often still feel tired. I'm hoping we get to the bottom of what's been going on with my health sooner than later and I'm praying that it's nothing serious.
There's always the fear that my cancer could return, so we are hoping and praying that this is not the case.
I will know more the first week of December. Waiting really is frustrating; so I'm trying to keep busy with the girls, organizing the stuff you never get around to, catching up the scrapbooks and I'm almost done the Christmas shopping.
Thank-you for your care, concern and prayers:)
I'm not well enough to work, but thankfully I am able to manage most daily activities; just not to many in one day. I sleep a lot and often still feel tired. I'm hoping we get to the bottom of what's been going on with my health sooner than later and I'm praying that it's nothing serious.
There's always the fear that my cancer could return, so we are hoping and praying that this is not the case.
I will know more the first week of December. Waiting really is frustrating; so I'm trying to keep busy with the girls, organizing the stuff you never get around to, catching up the scrapbooks and I'm almost done the Christmas shopping.
Thank-you for your care, concern and prayers:)
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Ahhh the imaginations of children!
Carmelle cracked me up when she described the following incident... As she was playing with the cat (which is the neighbors cat Cleo, that has adopted us) Cleo "tooted" (farted) in her face; she thought it funny until... She exclaimed that it smelt like 182 dead rotting flies, with a rotten tomato and apple on top!! Through a burst of laughter I told her that I was sure glad I didn't have to smell it; or describe it for that matter:)!!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Happy Halloween!
As we put the newly carved pumpkins out on the front porch, along with the scarecrow, black cat, and spider laden cobwebs and laid out the horse and alligator costumes; Carmelle , who's 6, made an announcement that made me proud.
She has decided that she only wants to trick-or-treat at three houses because it's so much better giving away treats at our house than going and getting more from others. She's made us feel like we must be doing something right:)
Though tomorrow I'm sure she'll change her mind and last at least half and hour:)
So off we go for fresh pumpkin seed snack from the oven, while leaving a trail of mini candy wrappers behind us:)
She has decided that she only wants to trick-or-treat at three houses because it's so much better giving away treats at our house than going and getting more from others. She's made us feel like we must be doing something right:)
Though tomorrow I'm sure she'll change her mind and last at least half and hour:)
So off we go for fresh pumpkin seed snack from the oven, while leaving a trail of mini candy wrappers behind us:)
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Just for fun!
So I saw the movie "whip it" with a girlfriend the other night. I was kind of like watching my 17 year old self and my 37 year old self collide on screen. It was fun, entertaining and scary all at the same time?!? After wards I was left with the thought provoking question, which I spent much time pondering..."What would my roller derby chick name be?"
Something sassy, scary, sexy and fun! A spin on something in my world,that's also representative of my rebellious side.hmmmm... So I came up with, "Pippi Longwhipping". If I could find some roller skates this would be my Halloween costume this year for sure!! I don't think Chris would mind at all...if I give him a minute he'll be off to Value Village looking for roller skates right now:)!!
Something sassy, scary, sexy and fun! A spin on something in my world,that's also representative of my rebellious side.hmmmm... So I came up with, "Pippi Longwhipping". If I could find some roller skates this would be my Halloween costume this year for sure!! I don't think Chris would mind at all...if I give him a minute he'll be off to Value Village looking for roller skates right now:)!!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Pretty Good News!
So I haven't been feeling well at all for about 10-12 days. Getting more and more dizzy, light-headed, loss of balance, staggered walking, dropping things, feeling weak and tired, headaches and it's been consistently been getting worse. I've been getting quite worried when blood work came back all normal and the DR. suggested it could be brain tumors from breast cancer spreading to my brain. Yikes! I hadn't really been worried about it being that, I just know I haven't felt right at all. I haven't been able to continue working, I'm on sick leave right now until I feel better.
The brain CT scan came back normal today, which is great, it means that there are no large tumors growing in there. However CT is not the most effective test for the brain especially when looking for small lesions due to Breast cancer mets (spreading cancer to the brain). I am at an incredibly high risk for my cancer to spread to my brain, it's the most likely place for it to spread.
So more tests now to try and figure out why I'm feeling like this. I'm hoping it's because of the issues with my sinuses; maybe they are effecting my ears which is effecting my balance. I'm waiting for surgery for my sinuses some time in the new year.I've had issues with my balance in the past, but it was very different than this feeling.
So there will be more testing over the next month to 6 weeks and I pray wisdom for my Dr's as they try to figure out what is going on with me. I just want to feel like I did 2 and a half weeks ago, when I spend full days in Disneyland with my family, feeling great! I also want to get back to work, I really enjoy my job and I miss abc:)
The brain CT scan came back normal today, which is great, it means that there are no large tumors growing in there. However CT is not the most effective test for the brain especially when looking for small lesions due to Breast cancer mets (spreading cancer to the brain). I am at an incredibly high risk for my cancer to spread to my brain, it's the most likely place for it to spread.
So more tests now to try and figure out why I'm feeling like this. I'm hoping it's because of the issues with my sinuses; maybe they are effecting my ears which is effecting my balance. I'm waiting for surgery for my sinuses some time in the new year.I've had issues with my balance in the past, but it was very different than this feeling.
So there will be more testing over the next month to 6 weeks and I pray wisdom for my Dr's as they try to figure out what is going on with me. I just want to feel like I did 2 and a half weeks ago, when I spend full days in Disneyland with my family, feeling great! I also want to get back to work, I really enjoy my job and I miss abc:)
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